Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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