Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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