How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
