Umm I'm too high to move.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
