I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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