it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do vagina's smell?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
