Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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