and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Life is so much better after having sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
