Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
