We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
