Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
