is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
