Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
