I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
sex in a hospital.. check
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
