I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
