I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
