pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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