Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
