Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
