Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
