Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
