i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
