I have demons in me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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