Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
