That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
