Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
