Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
