No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
True strength comes from lack of pants
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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