sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize