Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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