Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
