How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
