I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got inside last night via doggy door
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
