STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
