Umm I'm too high to move.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
