Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
