worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
