From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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