why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
