this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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