Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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