I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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