dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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