Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
