i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
