were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
