If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
