8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she smelled like a LAN party
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
