THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
