i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just cropdusted the office
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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