we're blogging at a bar
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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